11 Years...and Grapefruit

Last week, Wes and I celebrated our 11th anniversary. It came and went without a lot of notice, but we did have the opportunity to spend the entire weekend together just the two of us. Those who know us, realize that this is quite a treat for us. Since the twins came along, most of our attention is focused on them when we are not at work.

Wes took me to eat wherever I wanted- I decided to try the Beehive Grill- It's new to our area. Once again, I cannot choose well! The food was less than desirable and the waiter shorted our change. They didn't have shrimp on the menu either, who doesn't have shrimp??? Not impressive, we won't be going back.

The next night we went on a drive to no where imparticular. We ended up at Market Street Grill! Yum! The place was nearly deserted and we were seated immediately. As always, the food was wonderful. I had Halibut Oscar and Wes had plain Halibut. He was a bit disappointed that the vegetable was broccoflower...what kind of weirdo thought that up?

At work this week I mentioned to a few friends that we had celebrated our anniversary, elaborating on how blessed I am to have such a sweet husband who does so much for me. (I take that for granted a lot.) Somehow, we got on the topic of silly things that spouses do that really drive us crazy but are very insignificant. It is not a secret to Wes, but the thing that he does that drives me batty is turn his socks inside out when he takes them off. I told my friends that even though this makes extra work for me when doing the laundry, I try to keep it in check by remembering a story I read a few years back- "The Grapefruit Syndrome". Thought I'd share it with you today...

The Grapefruit Syndrome
By Lola B. Walters

As a young wife, I learned that marriage could be sweeter if I didn’t focus on my husband’s faults.
My husband and I had been married about two years when I read an article recommending that married couples discuss truthfully and candidly the habits or mannerisms they find annoying in each other. The theory was that if partners knew of such annoyances, they could correct them before resentful feelings developed.
It made sense to me. I talked with my husband about the idea. After some hesitation, he agreed to give it a try.
As I recall, we were to name five things we found annoying. I started off. After more than 50 years, I remember only my first complaint: grapefruit. I told him I didn’t like the way he ate grapefruit. Instead of cutting it open and eating it with a spoon, he peeled it and ate it a section at a time. Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could I be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching my husband eat grapefruit like that? Although I have forgotten them, I’m sure my other complaints were of similar importance.
Then it was his turn. It has been more than half a century, but I still carry a mental image of my husband’s thoughtful, puzzled expression. He looked at me and said, “I can’t think of anything I don’t like about you.”
Gasp. I quickly turned my back, not knowing how to explain my tears. I had found fault with him over such trivial things, while he hadn’t even noticed any of my peculiar and no doubt annoying habits.
I wish I could say this experience completely cured me of fault finding. It didn’t. But it did teach me early in my marriage that we need to keep in perspective, and usually ignore, the small differences in our spouse’s habits and personalities. Whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I always wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the grapefruit syndrome.